January 23, 2009

Club Trillion - "It's all White"

Not sure if this blog has made the rounds nationally yet, but the Club Trillion blog is definitely starting to pick up momentum here in the Midwest. Great stuff. One of the funniest blogs I have ever read, and this week's "It's all White" edition about who is the "whitest" player on the Ohio State basketball team is an all-timer.

Some highlights from this week's entry:

Nikola Kecman - When asked if he thinks of himself as a foreigner or a white guy, he responded "Serbian." So not only does he not think of himself as white, he doesn't understand how to answer either/or questions.

P.J. Hill - He has dreadlocks. Also, he is not white either. Sorry, P.J.

Danny would eat a roasted caterpillar off of Grandma Winslow's back hair if LeBron James told him to. And last I checked LeBron isn't a white guy. Beyond that, Danny doesn't even know the lyrics to "Callin' Baton Rouge", which is a must if you want to be white.

Evan is a perfect candidate for being the whitest guy on the team. He went to a private high school, listens to John Mayer, and regularly wears a scarf.

Kyle Madsen was literally born with a silver spoon in his hand. It baffled the doctors and Kyle really doesn't like to talk about it, but that's not the point. The point is that Kyle owns a membership to Costco and wears a pullover sweater at least six days a week. His high school boasts an impressive four minorities in his graduating class, proving that Kyle's concept of diversity is similar to that of Ron Burgundy's. He could listen to Dave Matthews read the dictionary and not even hint at being bored. Often times Kyle will have to take his Lexus into the shop, at which point he relies on his polo horse for transportation. As if this isn't enough, Kyle went to Vanderbilt for a year. In case you don't know anything about Vanderbilt, it's actual mission statement reads "...to offer a quality education for our students, provided they wear pink polo shirts with their collars popped." Simply put, this man is a bigger preppy than Zach Morris.

Highly recommended. If Mark Titus isn't writing for ESPN.com in two years, I will be stunned. I think he could be the next Bill Simmons.

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